At the core, humans are wired to connect and build relationships that help them feel safe, known, and valued.

If you find yourself constantly putting others before yourself and feel that your happiness depends much on another person, you are definitely not the only one.

You question whether you can form close, deep ties and keep your freedom. 
Good associations allow you to be YOU still and enjoy ties with someone else.

 This takes:

• Self-awareness
• Healthy boundaries
• Honest communication

Let’s see how you can build such relationships.

What Are Attachment Styles?

We begin with the people closest to us in the world. 
Our first connections with people who usually give us care as infants establish our attachment in giving and receiving love and support.

The Four Main Attachment Styles

Here are the primary styles. Once you know yours, you are on your way to changing negative patterns:

• Secure Attachment: You trust people, are comfortable being close to them, and feel independent but deserve to be loved.
• Anxious Attachment: You may feel apprehensive that someone may leave or love you less.
• Avoidant Attachment: You might keep your distance and detach yourself from people. It may take some time before deciding to let one get close to you.
• Disorganized Attachment: You need love, yet at the same time, you are terrified of it. Your relationship responses might be confused or extreme, varying between drawing people nearer and pushing them away.

Learning your patterns isn’t about blame; it’s about noticing where you are starting and where you can grow.

Start by Knowing Yourself

You can’t lose yourself in a relationship if you really know who you are. A healthy attachment starts with being clear about your values, needs, and interests.

Try to rediscover your values and interests.

Now what really makes you, you? What do you live for apart from relationships? List your personal values: kindness, honesty, or maybe creativity. 

Something that makes you smile or puts your mind at ease. Doing what makes you who you are keeps hold of yourself in any relationship.

Identify your boundaries and needs.

Boundaries teach people how to treat you. They are not walls; but they gently help you feel safe and respected.
Consider what you need to be comfortable. Is it time to be heard or have your own opinions? Naming these for yourself helps you say them to others.

Building Healthy Connections

With a strong sense of self, connecting with others healthily is easier. This includes communication, mutual support, and keeping your own identity, even in close relationships.

Communicate clearly and kindly.

Open, kind communication forms the core of any strong bond. Say how you feel and what you need to people, and listen in response. Use “I feel…” rather than blame. 
This makes room for honest, kind talk.

Interdependence, not codependence.

Attachment should be reliable support, but not at the cost of losing your autonomy. 
Help one another grow; keep your interests and friends, and spend time together and alone.

Handling conflict respectfully.

It is normal to disagree at times. Try to be understanding instead of winning. If possible, compromise; do not attack each other personally, ever. 
Facing challenges together builds trust and strength.

Ready to Grow?

Growing healthy connections is a process. If you get lost along the way and need directions, Doria Therapeutic Group, PLLC is that place of support. 

Our highly experienced therapists offer very kind and professional therapy services focused on building healthy connections that stay authentic to the individual. 

Whether you are working on understanding your attachment style, strengthening your boundaries, or balancing connection with freedom, we can help.

You can have close, fulfilling relationships and maintain your unique identity. 
If so, consider reading about what to expect in your first month of therapy.

At Doria Therapeutic Group, PLLC, we’re here for you. Our caring therapists can help you build deep connections without losing who you are.

You deserve to feel strong and supported. 

FAQs

What causes unhealthy attachment?
Most often, it originates from early experiences, such as inconsistent care or trauma at a stage when later healthy attachment with the caregivers becomes seemingly daunting.

How to fix unhealthy attachment?
Learn your patterns, set healthy boundaries, and get support.
Therapy can help you create secure connections.

How to develop healthy attachment?
Self-awareness: select a supportive company and practice authentic communication that does not destroy your identity.